2012

Jesus Creator of ‘Take My Wife’ Joke

An article for NewsThump, September 2012
"Magician, after-supper speaker and stand-up comedian; we must reluctantly accept that JC was one of the top all-round entertainers of the last 2,000 years, right up there with Brucey..."

Chalk – 1:08 Mins

A sketch for Mop Up on Kooba Radio, July 2012
- “This chalk outline on the floor: it's a cock and balls. There's the cock... and there's the balls."
- "No, no, sir, that's the murder victim. He was quite a straight, stocky bloke, I suppose..."

Rain – 0:44 Mins

A sketch for Mop Up on Kooba Radio, July 2012
- “Oh my God! What the hell is going on? This is like a mass suicide or something. It's horrific!"
- "Kind of sexy, though..."

Two Scots: Objects

A promo for The Chop House comedy podcast, February 2012
- “Donna was telling me how she keeps catching her man shagging the couch. And is no just the couch, either. Kitchen drawers, the video player, Henry Hoover: you name it, he shags it…”

Two Scots: Gym

A promo for The Chop House comedy podcast, February 2012
- "So I had this gym induction earlier. And the guy says to us ‘Why're you joining?’ So I says "I wanna get inta shape." Know what he says? "If you're going for a circle you're nearly there"..."

Two Scots: Man

A promo for The Chop House comedy podcast, February 2012
- "I says to him, "Look pal, I’m happy here, just leave us alone, will ya?", but he wasnae having none of it. He says to us "No man's an island Bonnie" so I says "What about the Isle of Man?"…”

Two Scots: Twat

A promo for The Chop House comedy podcast, February 2012
“She went "Can I just say... you’re a twat". So I said "No you cannae, it's not nice." An' she said "So can I think you're a twat?" So I said "I cannae stop ya". So she said "I think you're a twat"..."