Radio

Chalk – 1:08 Mins

A sketch for Mop Up on Kooba Radio, July 2012
- “This chalk outline on the floor: it's a cock and balls. There's the cock... and there's the balls."
- "No, no, sir, that's the murder victim. He was quite a straight, stocky bloke, I suppose..."

Rain – 0:44 Mins

A sketch for Mop Up on Kooba Radio, July 2012
- “Oh my God! What the hell is going on? This is like a mass suicide or something. It's horrific!"
- "Kind of sexy, though..."

Girls – 1:27 Mins

A sketch for Mop Up on Kooba Radio, July 2012
- "I'll be the girl he sees over the fence, skipping in the sprinkler. I'll be the girl who'll lick his grazes better. I'll be the girl whose breasts he'll see leap into action one glorious summer…”

Cockerney – 3:44 Mins

A sketch for the StalkingElk Breakfast Show on NTS Live, July 2012
- “Alright, simmer down. Evenin’ guv'nors - and guv'nesses, 'course - an’ welcome to this ten-week, ten-step Cockney for ‘Mericans class at 'Ollywood College. I'm a Cockerney geezer…”

Gogh – 0:13 mins

A sketch recorded for The Chop House but unused, February 2012
- "No, it’s ‘Go’." ... - "It’s ‘Goff’." ... - "'Go'." ... - "'Goff'." ... - "'Go'." ... - "'Goff'." ... - "'Go'."
- "Actually, it’s 'Van Hock'…"

Burj Khalifa – 0:37 Mins

A sketch for Newsjack S2 Ep 1, BBC Radio 4 Extra, January 2010
- “Dubai's Burj Khalifa is more than twice the height of the Empire State Building. Rising to 828 metres in height, it is visible from more than 95 kilometres away. Are there any questions?…”

The King of Pop – 0:21 mins

A sketch for Newsjack S1, Ep 3 on BBC Radio 7, July 2009
- “Er, I could not believe it when I heard on BBC Radio Scotland that the King of Pop was no more. But in the end I was relieved - I thought for a moment they'd stopped selling Irn Bru…”