Jesus Original Author of ‘Take My Wife’ Joke

Posted on September 19, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

“Following the discovery of an old scrap of papyrus that refers to Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene, experts have also revealed that it contains the first written example of the ‘Take My Wife’ punchline.

The comedy ‘bit’, in which The Saviour riffs on the subject of parking the donkey, followed by a light-hearted attempt to get shot of His prostitute spouse, is “equal parts hilarious and sacred” according to Professor Peter Lord.

“A morality tale about the treatment of mules, followed by a jibe at a disciple – this is exactly the kind of tomfoolery one expects from the self-proclaimed Son of God.”

This is the start of a new comedy news piece written for the satirical British website NewsThump (related to this little item), and you can clicky here for the whole thing.

Secret London: Attractions Hidden in Plain Sight

Posted on August 14, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

“London is one of the world’s most visited cities, and its shop window attractions – the Tower of London, the Houses of Parliament, the British Museum – welcome millions of visitors each year. However, there is also another, less-seen aspect to the city, where uniquely fascinating features are concealed amid the chaos.

To offer you a fresh perspective on England’s capital, Forbes Travel Guide has chosen ten of the most interesting London attractions hidden in plain sight…”

This is the opening to an article and slideshow on London’s greatest secret sights, recently written for Forbes Travel Guide. From the World’s Smallest Police Station to the Seven Noses of Soho, click here to learn something new about an ancient city.

Writing for Lime&Tonic London

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

For the last month or so I’ve been writing articles for the up-and-coming London travel guide ‘Lime and Tonic’, with entries so far covering everything from the World’s Smallest Police Station to the World’s Greatest House Museum.

And there’s loads more to come. You can read all my mini-entries – past, present and future – by clicking right here.

Off Mt. Everest’s Beaten Track

Posted on February 23, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

I feel like throwing up. My head is spinning, my stomach churning, my joints throbbing. I suck in a lungful of icy air but there isn’t enough oxygen. Yet still I ignore that pounding thought: ‘turn back, turn back’. After two weeks of physical and mental exertion, with my final destination only an hour ahead, I know I can’t give up now. So I plant a walking pole deep into the dirt track and drag my heavy body onwards. Slowly, I begin to move my legs, bend my knees, pick up my feet, and I struggle on through the white wilderness, closer and closer to the finish line. I’m going to make it.

That’s when it all goes black. Continue reading →

Sleeping with Strangers in Busan

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

CouchSurfing provides the perfect antidote to a restless night… another one.

“I’m very sorry” he says, with a deep bow, as the door swings open. “This is all is left.” I look down at my bed for the night – five-feet long, two-feet wide and three-feet deep – and smile. “It’s perfect” I reply, as I unfold my blanket on the tiled floor. “Just knock if you need the toilet.” Continue reading →

Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries

Posted on October 11, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

I’ve had a new travel article published in the latest issue of stalkingElk (a comedy satire magazine, for which I am the ‘roaming correspondent’) about the very best cemeteries to visit in Europe. Here’s how it all starts…

“You can’t beat a good graveyard. An inexorable fixture in every childhood – whether burying your gran, losing your virginity or dabbling in the occult – cemeteries also offer the more adult pleasure of killing time prior to your own pathetic demise. So however you like to do it, from taking a walk out of the grim city to spotting D-list celebrity gravestones, here are ten of the continent’s finest time-killing cemeteries…”

If you’d like to read more of ‘Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries’ – and you really should, you know – you can click here for the whole article. Or if you want to read more similarly-flippant comedy nonsense, you can visit the stalkingElk website to buy the whole mag for three measly quid.

Europe’s Best Cemeteries #3

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

Père-Lachaise – Paris, France

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Everyone loves a celebrity corpse, and there are quite literally piles of them in Père-Lachaise. Renowned as the final resting place of Jim Morrison, this enormous Parisian landmark is also home to Oscar Wilde, Frédéric Chopin, Molière, Marcel Proust and Édith Piaf (three guesses what’s written on her tombstone. Wrong: there’s nothing.)

But it’s not all about the famous cadavers: come for the dead, stay for the décor. Père-Lachaise’s ornate memorials, leafy walkways and lovely smoke-free follies help create a calm oasis in the frantic French capital.

You can read the whole article – Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries – in the August edition of stalkingElk

Europe’s Best Cemeteries #2

Posted on August 18, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

Old Jewish Cemetery – Prague, Czech Republic

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The Old Jewish Cemetery in Prague is, rather predictably, a cemetery for old Jews: specifically, those who snuffed it between 1439 and 1787. During this time the Jewish community was kettled into a tiny ghetto, having to stuff their stiffs into a 60-metre-square graveyard, and so over three centuries it was crammed with around 100,000 bodies. Which explains why it has Europe’s highest concentration of tombstones.

FUN FACT!!! Prague’s famous cemetery only survived Nazi occupation because Hitler wanted to preserve it as ‘a museum to an extinct race’.

You can read the whole article – Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries – in the August edition of stalkingElk

Europe’s Best Cemeteries #1

Posted on August 11, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

Cross Bones – London, England

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The most famous resting place in London is, without doubt, the wonderfully gothic Highgate: the eternal residence of everyone from Karl ‘Commie’ Marx to Douglas ‘Galaxy’ Adams; Michael ‘Benzene’ Faraday to Jeremy ‘Withered’ Beadle. The capital’s most interesting cemetery, on the other hand, is Cross Bones.

An unconsecrated necropolis for so-called ‘Winchester Geese’ – medieval prostitutes who were licenced by the Bishop of Winchester to work within Southwark – it is simply a mass grave for those deemed unfit for a Christian burial: the outcast dead. Now it’s most famous for a cracking Halloween procession.

You can read the whole article – Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries – in the August edition of stalkingElk

Top Marx: When Socialism Meets Tourism

Posted on July 22, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

I’ve had a new travel article published in the July issue of stalkingElk – a comedy satire mag, for which I’m the ‘roaming correspondent’ – all about when socialism meets tourism. Here’s how it begins:

“Look at the condition of communism today and it’s easy to conclude that Karl Marx has been forgotten. China is now home to twice as many KFC outlets as giant pandas. Vietnam is famed for its vast income and gender inequalities. And while Laos’ clampdown on the media is a big commie tick, its free market policy is like defecating directly into Lenin’s cold, dead gullet. Each of these states, a mere two decades after some vexed Germans shouted at a wall, are now about as socialist as Joseph McCarthy in a kaftan.

However, not every socialist state has opened its arms and spread its legs to greet rampant capitalism: there are still three corners of the globe where hard-line communism stubbornly prevails. Three of the most unique and alien places on earth. Which makes them three of the most interesting places to visit…”

If you’d like to read more of ‘Top Marx: When Socialism Meets Tourism’, you can click here for the whole article. Or if you want to read more of the kind, you can visit the stalkingElk website and buy the whole mag for just £3. Bargain!