2013

"I’m going to try and keep my speech short, and there's a good reason for that. Every minute I keep talking is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how Paul’s dance lessons worked out..."

"I am so grateful to have the friendship of Paul. In my opinion, friendship is the most precious commodity there is. And with the few friends Paul has, it must be especially precious to him..."

"Anybody who's seen Paul and Linda together in their day-to-day life will realize they belong together and make each other complete. She finishes his sentences; he finishes her meals..."

"I’d like to reassure the bride that, while she may be expecting this speech to be jam-packed with sexual innuendo - it isn’t. It was at first, but my wife made me whip out the naughty bits..."

"I didn’t know Paul in his youth, but I hear he was something of a class clown. He never made anyone laugh, but he did wear make-up, and many of his classmates were troubled by him..."

"Some people have a public fear of speaking, but fortunately I'm not one of them. I just have a phobia of churches, flowers, music, commitment, and iced cakes of above-average height..."