Live Theatre

"As the spaghetti swelled in the boiling water, Bill tried to push it back down into the pan with his spoon. But as there was enough spaghetti for three million people, this was quite tricky..."

- “Hey, what are you doing? That's my plastic straw."
- "Plastic straw... or whale harpoon? 'Cos as far as I'm concerned, they're the same thing..."

- “You're not using protection? Are you crazy? You know how easily accidents can happen..."
- "I know, I know, but it just... it feels so much better. Try it..."

“Date one; dinner, gentle music, a pinot and a chinwag. Date two; some movie - Hugh Grant - popcorn, benign chatter, maybe a kiss. Date three, go for a quick fumble under the blouse..."