Jesus Original Author of ‘Take My Wife’ Joke

Posted on September 19, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

“Following the discovery of an old scrap of papyrus that refers to Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene, experts have also revealed that it contains the first written example of the ‘Take My Wife’ punchline.

The comedy ‘bit’, in which The Saviour riffs on the subject of parking the donkey, followed by a light-hearted attempt to get shot of His prostitute spouse, is “equal parts hilarious and sacred” according to Professor Peter Lord.

“A morality tale about the treatment of mules, followed by a jibe at a disciple – this is exactly the kind of tomfoolery one expects from the self-proclaimed Son of God.”

This is the start of a new comedy news piece written for the satirical British website NewsThump (related to this little item), and you can clicky here for the whole thing.

Secret London: Attractions Hidden in Plain Sight

Posted on August 14, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

“London is one of the world’s most visited cities, and its shop window attractions – the Tower of London, the Houses of Parliament, the British Museum – welcome millions of visitors each year. However, there is also another, less-seen aspect to the city, where uniquely fascinating features are concealed amid the chaos.

To offer you a fresh perspective on England’s capital, Forbes Travel Guide has chosen ten of the most interesting London attractions hidden in plain sight…”

This is the opening to an article and slideshow on London’s greatest secret sights, recently written for Forbes Travel Guide. From the World’s Smallest Police Station to the Seven Noses of Soho, click here to learn something new about an ancient city.

Travel guide writing for Forbes

Posted on July 12, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

During the last couple of months, I have been employed as a Travel Guide Consultant for the renowned Forbes Travel Guide, contributing a variety of content on cities across Europe for their new online platform Startle.com.

To date, I have completed ‘Question and Answer’ projects for ten major cities throughout the continent, namely Edinburgh, Glasgow and London (Great Britain), Frankfurt (Germany), Prague (Czech Republic), Salzburg and Vienna (Austria), Stockholm (Sweden), Warsaw (Poland) and Zurich (Switzerland), and with any luck there will be more guides to come soon.

You can keep track of every contribution on my Forbes biography page.

Writing for Lime&Tonic London

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

For the last month or so I’ve been writing articles for the up-and-coming London travel guide ‘Lime and Tonic’, with entries so far covering everything from the World’s Smallest Police Station to the World’s Greatest House Museum.

And there’s loads more to come. You can read all my mini-entries – past, present and future – by clicking right here.

Off Mt. Everest’s Beaten Track

Posted on February 23, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

I feel like throwing up. My head is spinning, my stomach churning, my joints throbbing. I suck in a lungful of icy air but there isn’t enough oxygen. Yet still I ignore that pounding thought: ‘turn back, turn back’. After two weeks of physical and mental exertion, with my final destination only an hour ahead, I know I can’t give up now. So I plant a walking pole deep into the dirt track and drag my heavy body onwards. Slowly, I begin to move my legs, bend my knees, pick up my feet, and I struggle on through the white wilderness, closer and closer to the finish line. I’m going to make it.

That’s when it all goes black. Continue reading →

The Search for Ischia’s Wild Seaside Spa

Posted on February 7, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

A few days ago (on Saturday 4th February, to be precise) I had a brand new travel article published in the leading British newspaper The Daily Telegraph. It’s all about a rather chilly quest to find the secret seaside spring of Il Sorgeto, which is (in turn) on the Italian island of Ischia, and this is how it starts…

““Have you got the eels?” I ask, teeth chattering, as my girlfriend steps off the yacht and onto the deserted jetty. She nods. “And the mullet, too? And the calamari?” She holds the bulging bag of seafood aloft with one gloved hand, as she pulls her jacket tight with the other, and I grin a chapped-lip grin. Now all we need is a scooter rental shop. One that’s open in December…”

If you’d like to read on, you can either view the print version here or take a look at the online version instead. Enjoy!

Sleeping with Strangers in Busan

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Joseph Reaney

CouchSurfing provides the perfect antidote to a restless night… another one.

“I’m very sorry” he says, with a deep bow, as the door swings open. “This is all is left.” I look down at my bed for the night – five-feet long, two-feet wide and three-feet deep – and smile. “It’s perfect” I reply, as I unfold my blanket on the tiled floor. “Just knock if you need the toilet.” Continue reading →

GuidePal City Guide to Florence

Posted on December 9, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

As it’s been an unforgivably long time since my last post, I thought I’d take a couple of minutes to point you in the direction of the thing that’s been keeping me so goshdarn busy… the incomparable GuidePal city guide to Florence. That’s right – I did a guide.

As the world’s leading smart phone travel guide application, this is officially the best free downloadable guide to Florence out there. Probably. So if you’re lucky enough to be heading to this cultural capital, why not take my wise words along for company?

Incidentally, if you’re heading to Prague or Edinburgh, I wrote those city guides too…

Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries

Posted on October 11, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

I’ve had a new travel article published in the latest issue of stalkingElk (a comedy satire magazine, for which I am the ‘roaming correspondent’) about the very best cemeteries to visit in Europe. Here’s how it all starts…

“You can’t beat a good graveyard. An inexorable fixture in every childhood – whether burying your gran, losing your virginity or dabbling in the occult – cemeteries also offer the more adult pleasure of killing time prior to your own pathetic demise. So however you like to do it, from taking a walk out of the grim city to spotting D-list celebrity gravestones, here are ten of the continent’s finest time-killing cemeteries…”

If you’d like to read more of ‘Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries’ – and you really should, you know – you can click here for the whole article. Or if you want to read more similarly-flippant comedy nonsense, you can visit the stalkingElk website to buy the whole mag for three measly quid.

Europe’s Best Cemeteries #3

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Joseph Reaney

Père-Lachaise – Paris, France

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Everyone loves a celebrity corpse, and there are quite literally piles of them in Père-Lachaise. Renowned as the final resting place of Jim Morrison, this enormous Parisian landmark is also home to Oscar Wilde, Frédéric Chopin, Molière, Marcel Proust and Édith Piaf (three guesses what’s written on her tombstone. Wrong: there’s nothing.)

But it’s not all about the famous cadavers: come for the dead, stay for the décor. Père-Lachaise’s ornate memorials, leafy walkways and lovely smoke-free follies help create a calm oasis in the frantic French capital.

You can read the whole article – Killing Time in Europe’s Best Cemeteries – in the August edition of stalkingElk